Andersen Alterated
by Omegahugger
Summary: The history of mankind is a history of stories. They have always been a part of our existance. However, stories are not static things. They change as different people tell them and the cultures around them evolve. These are a collection of these variations. Gensokyo is the land where stories go once people no longer believe in them. 200 hundred years is enough time to vanish.


Once upon a time, in an illusionary land far away, a group of youkai were sitting in their lair, bickering to decide who should be their leader. Each saw themselves as the natural choice, and each would rather listen to the yama's lecture than see another take the post.

"I should be in charge," said the darkness fiend with a beaming grin, "My darkness can blanket the fields for a day and I can eat a thousand cows and still have room for desert."

"No, it should be I," said the night sparrow with a flick of her hair, "My beauty is known across the land and whenever I sing I entrance a thousand men."

"You're both wrong. It should be I," said the insect queen, "My army numbers the millions and I can shatter a thousand mountains with a single kick."

They babbled and squabbled for hours on end before it became clear to the parties that no one could convince the others of their superiority.

"I'd rather see a fairy leading us than one of you."

"Is that so? Why don't we find a fairy then?"

"Yeah, a true fairy. Not just a small youkai with glittery wings."

And so they began travelling the land. They searched the human village high and low, turned the forest of magic outside in and even ransacked the Devil's Mansion. Fairies, there were plenty of, but the all lacked that special, fairy'ish feeling.

By the end of the day, the trio returned to their den defeated. They washed their hands, cleaned their clothes and brushed their teeth. Before turning in for the night, the insect youkai turned to her peers.

"What should we do? We've turned every rock in the whole land, and no fairy was found!"

"You know, we could always ask _her_ for advice." The dark fiend said, cleaning out a few wrinkles in her night gown.

"Yeah, _she_ usually knows what to do." The sparrow said as she yawned. "Even if she's as scary as a yakitori stand."

The firefly shivered visibly at the proposition. Of the three, she knew the most of ancient's knowledge and ruthlessness, for she had had a few too many encounters with her. Still, even she couldn't deny that she would have a solution to their problems.

With a sigh, she gave in. "Fine, we can go to the flower field tomorrow. But as soon as we have a clear answer, we'll disappear like morning dew before a phoenix, okay?"

"Okay!"

And with that it was decided. The Youkai Three spend the following day travelling to the land of sunflowers, where the Mansion of Dreams lied.

*Ø*Ø*

"This is a really bad idea, guys."

The Night Sparrow gulped. She had originally supported the idea, but once she stood before the gates of their destination, she feared that she had made a mistake. After all, the ancient youkai was infamous for her cruelty and malice, the very tip of which the bird had seen herself back when the sixty year cycle repeated itself.

As the trio moved through the fields, the flowers watched their every step. It was as if a thousand unblinking eyes stared endlessly and reported everything to some kind of dark master. Considering who they were going to meet, it could very well be the case. Just as the youkai were about to knock on the doors, they swung open with a silenced clonk that echoed throughout the entrance hallway.

"What brings you to my home, children~?"

It was the kind of voice that made everyone feel like they were nothing but tiny insects standing before an elephant (including, naturally, the one youkai that already was a bug). Slowly staggering forward, the Firefly voiced their plea to the ancient one.

"Oh? So you want to know if the fairy you find is a real one?" A parasol-wearing woman appeared as suddenly as a gust of wind before them. "Why that is easy to find out~ Why don't I tell you over a cup of tea~"

With a nervous chatter, the youkai accepted their tea-drinking fate.

*Ø*Ø*

That afternoon, Sparrow, Fly and Darkness alike hit the floor with a thump. It had been… Exhausting, but they learned what they needed. While eating underneath the sounds of a Shrine Maiden blowing up some poor sod in the background, they discussed their future plans.

"Fe are all fed fow" The dusk Youkai said with her usual tablemanners.  
"Except that we need to find an actual fairy now." Countered the Firefly.

"That reminds me. Should we just check every single fairy in the land~?" The bird said in her singsong voice "Because that'll take a long time and be very boring."

"Well, it's not like a true fairy will just fall into our front do-"  
A loud crash interrupted the youkai's planning, and sounded like it almost blew in their entrance.

Upon further research (I. E. going out and looking at the wreckage), it turns out that t was a fairy of ice that had been blown into their doorway, and she was in a terrible state. Her hair was messy beyond belief, her blue clothes were singed as if struck by burning balls of fire and her wings even looked a little skewed.

"Ugh, what happened?" The fairy said as she shook her head. "I was fighting the Shrine Maiden and just about to win when everything suddenly exploded…"

The three youkai surrounded her like sharks circling around a shipwrecked sailor.

"A fairy came~! What kind of fairy has joined~?"

"The strongest!"

The Darkness youkai swallowed her last bite.

"Is that so? She could be the one~!"

"What? I am the one and only! The fairy that skates across fields in 5 minutes is me!"

The final youkai smirked a little, as she prepared following the ancient's advice.

"Really now? Let us see about that!"

And then they all jumped back and unleashed a thousand bullets each. The youkai of Darkness spread wings of shadow alongside cornering lasers, the Night Sparrow's voice summened the birds of dusk, surrounding the fairy in their pelting assaults and the Firefly released her swarm of insects, each twisting and turning to get a hit in on their mistress' visitor. And finally, the bug shot a single, slow-moving bullet, one that couldn't even hit a lame calf, straight at the fairy.

"Not fair, I wasn't ready!"

Despite her words, said fairy made good of her claims as well. She flew beside lasers trying to fry her, turned the circling birds to blocks of ice and made a peculiar imitation of a giant flyswatter using nothing but the frozen atmosphere. The barrage ended with the fairy still standing, grinning victoriously at her soon-to-be defeated opponents.

"Do you still deny my power?" The fairy said, confidence beaming out of every pore in her body. "That will teach not to underestimate the power of C-"

Said confidence was slightly misplaced, though, as a single bullet struck her right in the chest and exploded.

And as the smoke cleared, the youkai knew they had found what they had searched for. For only a real fairy would be dumb enough to dodge wave after wave of bullets, only to be struck down by a single, obvious attack.

The fairy was immediately named their leader and, despite being slightly confuzzled by the turn of events, happily led them out on many a human terrorizing trip. And if they haven't been exterminated, they're at it still.

And that was a true story.

*Ø*Ø*Ø*Ø*Ø*Ø*

Author's notes:

Whew! It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm back, and as usual is it a challenge fic. Having a hard deadline is apparently the only time I finish my stories…

The theme this time around was **Fairy Tales** and as proud dane there was no way I could pass by a theme like that without basing it on dear old Andersen. Namazu knows that we've gotten the old geezer grafted into our lives several times by now... What story this was based on? Kid, if you don't know, you're better of finding out by yourself. Get a list of Andersen's works, and through them. (the hint is in the title)

I got a lot of other ideas for _Andersen Alterated_, though. This might turn into a series… Although with my current concentration, it will require everyone's help keeping me on track. C:

I am babbling again, it seems… Time to finish up! This is Omegahugger signing off~


End file.
